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Frozen's Patti Murin Opens Up About Her Anxiety - Celebrities with Anxiety
Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. A therapeutic children's book about a little girl named Patti suffering from panic attacks. This book was written for children to explain the symptoms of a panic disorder and how to treat it with cognitive-behavioral therapy and medications. Get A Copy. More Details Other Editions 1. Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.
There was definitely a point at which I was like, am I doing this?
Yeah, I'm doing this. I was in drama club in high school, and attended Syracuse for theater. We had a whole bunch of really talented people at Syracuse who wound up going into musical theater. It was a good training — like, you might be good but there are other people who are just as good. I always had a drive to be better. It felt like, Okay, she can belt to that song? I will belt higher. When I was a junior, my boyfriend at the time broke up with me, and I was devastated. I would go grocery-shopping at 3 in the morning.
It got to a point where I was like, I really shouldn't be this upset about that guy. So I went to one of my professors and she said, "You should go to a therapist. I think you're clinically depressed. Back then, though, it was a quick fix. I wasn't accepting that I had some disease; it was a situation that I was treating for the moment. I went off the meds after college. I didn't realize for a while that anxiety is often depression's little partner in crime.
I went on with my life.
What I figured out early on is that I really love doing brand-new musicals, though I learned that in order to do new musicals, you have to be willing to leave town and get paid no money and not do anything on Broadway for years at a time. It was during the Wicked tour that I realized how anxious I was about performing. Not little butterflies, or the nervousness before opening night: I was terrified to forget a line.
Like, absolutely terrified to the point where I wasn't even acting anymore, I was repeating a line in my head before I said it out loud. So I went back on medication. The first thing I noticed once it kicked in was the feeling of, Oh, it's just a play. It's just a play. Even if you miss a line, you deal with it and keep going.
It's body chemistry telling you that you can't. Theater is a business with so much rejection, it's kind of a miracle that any of us can get through it. I don't know how to compare my experience of it, my ups and downs, to other people's. But even with my conditions, another career was never on the radar.
It wasn't that I feared I couldn't do theater; I feared I couldn't do anything. If I were a veterinarian, I'd be anxious to perform surgeries. When people ask for advice about following their Broadway dream, I say, "Make sure you really love it.
That you can't do anything else. I worked on Frozen for two years before it debuted on Broadway: auditioning and workshops and a tour and reading with Caissie Levy, our Elsa. You know coming in that a show of this size is a time commitment. We started rehearsing in January for eight hours a day, six days a week; then came the weeks with our tech department, which is ten hours a day.
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We got through opening night, and then a few weeks later recorded our cast album. It was 14 days in a row without a day off, and I just felt it. I felt the panic attack building. For me, it's like the bottom of my stomach drops out. Everything becomes a little hollow.
I freeze up, and all I want to do is throw up or cry. It sounds weird, but it just makes me want to heave or purge or something. On the Monday night before I called out, I was scheduled to sing the national anthem at a Yankees game.
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So I thought: I am not freaking out right now. I can hold this off. I woke up the next day and the hollowness was there. So last night I called out of the show because I had a massive anxiety attack in the afternoon. It had been building up for a while, and while the past month has been incredible, all of the ups and downs and stress and excitement really takes a toll on my mental health. It requires a lot of rest and self care to heal every time it becomes more than I can handle in my daily life.